“Your twenties are your ‘selfish’ years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time and all the aspects of you. Tinker with stuff, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little and never touch the ground.”
Recently, I was approached with this concept of your 20’s being your selfish year in a place that any WiseDude would find inspirational quotes…Instagram. This quote in particular, however, resonated with me. Are the 20’s really a time about selfishness? Is this the time, more than others, to put yourself first? Well, after a long hard thought process that included bubble baths with scented candles and deep thought sessions as I smoke a pipe and readjust my monocle, I’ve reached a verdict. Until my early 20’s are over, I will be ThatSelfishDude. It’s going to be me, myself and here’s why. Ha! Puns, I love them (and if you don’t, too bad, ThatDude likes them).
Last December, YourDude turned 20. It was a great birthday, to be frank. Nothing special. I had some imported Italian red wine aged 200 years served to me in the Holy Grail. Later that day, I went to the Miami Heat game and sat next to my good friend DJ Khaled. Buddy kept Snapchatting about some key, though. I just wanted to watch the game. Simple birthday, pretty relaxed. The quote resonated with me for this reason, however. I had just turned 20. I’m not going to be in my 20s forever. Is this really the time for me to do all the stuff I ever wanted to? If I'm going to be 20, I need to do this right.
Your 20s are sometimes called “prime time”. You’re way past the childhood stage of Aunt Jemima pinching your cheeks and saying “just how cute you are” and other family members asking gawking about “how much they’ve grown” since the weeks they’ve seen you. You’ve muscled your way through those terrible years they call “puberty” and “middle school.” I don’t remember much about my middle school years, but I once entered the deep depths of Facebook and found statuses from those years that make present day Dude ashamed. Here, *sighs* are some of them.
Yes, because the world wanted a summary of what you were doing.
*Deep sigh* I hate how "you are" hair feels? Come on, man. Get it together!!
Theres a 100% chance I didn't know what this quote was referring to.
Just look at that status. It’s safe to say that at that point in time, I was not “ThatDude”. I still had so many things to learn. On the bright side, I’ve been representing the Gator Nation for quite some time. Something that two of my friends at FSU (you know who you are) can say. Go Gators!
I could roast PubescentDude for ages, don’t get me wrong, but let’s get back to the question at hand, shall we. Your 20s are the time for you, more than ever, to be you. You’ve payed your dues and learned your lessons to get to this point. You also either at, or approaching your peak physical prowess. Take full advantage, because your 20s is when you start chiseling out your identity.
As I stated, when you’re in your 20, you’re entering prime time. You’re reaching, or are at the peak of your physical prowess. You’re still stupid, but dammit, that stupidity leads to curiosity and that’s what makes these years great. On top of that, generally speaking, the only ones that you need to care for are yourselves. Little SaintDudeWest and NorthDudetteWest still haven’t entered the picture. Add in that dash of selfishness I’m about to speak of and you have the perfect recipe to learn yourself.
Your 20’s should be your “selfish” years. This is the best time for you to focus on yourself and do things you’ve wanted to do. Forget calling it “prime time”, your 20’s are “Bucket List” time. You want to own a baby orangutan? Then dammit, you go out and own that baby orangutan! You want to sky dive? Go out there, spend the hundreds of dollars, cry because you checked your bank account right after, and enjoy the ride. Hey, nobody said being selfish is cheap, but boy will it be fun. Do things you thought you wouldn’t do in a million years. Explore different aspects of yourself. Currently, ThatDude is taking an acting class for non-majors. For those who don’t know me, I’m generally a shy guy. I don’t like putting myself out there and try to avoid being put on the spot. I needed to explore, however. I needed to try something new and discover the ThespianDude. Albeit, I’ve taken the class for less than 4 weeks, I’ve already gotten a lot more comfortable when it comes to public speaking. Give me 2 more weeks and you’ll be seeing me in the movies. Give me one more year and I’ll be accepting my Oscar as I look Leonardo DiCapio dead in the eye. When I tell people that I’m taking this class, as a dude on the pre-med track, they look at me questionably. Fortunately for me, I’m not doing this for them I’m doing this for me (and all my future patients who I’m going to dish out invitations for my community play to). Feel free to do these random activities. Some things you’ll enjoy that you thought you wouldn’t, other things you’ll straight up hate them and think “Brain, what are you doing?” But hey, even if you do hate them, you have a good story for your grandchildren to not listen to. The experiences you can gain by living an active 20s can be invaluable.
Travel to different places. Whether they be out of the country, within the country, or within the county, travel to new places. In the short time I have left at UF, I’ve made it a mission to explore the vast nature grounds surrounding the “city” (Is Gainesville really a city? It’s basically a college campus with some houses on the outside). The person who inspired this blog post spent her New Years in London and is going to Chicago soon (low-key shout-out to bring back a rock). Travelling garnishes new experiences. Your 20s are the perfect time for you to travel to new locations. Nobody has a dependency on you and you have a dependency on no one else. You have the freedom to go to these locations and choose how you wish to spend your time there. The schedule card is in your hands. Overall, I could go on forever in ways you can be “selfish” in your 20s, but the main idea is to do things for you. Don’t do things because you feel obligated to. Everything you do, do it with passion, with interest, with energy. Make your 20s memorable. Eventually, you aren’t going to be able to be selfish anymore. People will become dependent on you and you’ll have to take their best interest before yours. Discussing that will be a time for later, but for now, it’s all about “me, myself, and I.” and finding out who they are
Before I let you go, I want to make it clear that there’s a difference with living your 20’s “selfishly” and just being a dick. Your 20’s isn’t going to be 100% free of dependency. People at all points in your life will depend on you eventually. Be there for them if they need it. I shouldn’t even have to be saying this but I don’t want angry emails saying “your entrancing writing and skills in persuasion have turned poor Henry into Kanye.”
Dedication
This blog post goes out to the inspiration behind this post and the person who brought the quote to my attention. She recently turned 20, so everyone wish this person a "Happy Birthday" and let her 20's be as "selfish" as they come. Happy Birthday, flower child.
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