ThatDude Gets Sentimental: Relationships and Breakups

Excerpt From:

Your Bitter is My Sweet 

By: Chloe Mitchell

Things used to be, now they not

Anything but us is who we are

Disguising ourselves as secret lovers

We've become public enemies

We walk away like strangers in the street

Gone for eternity

We erased one another

So far from where we came

With so much of everything

How do we leave with nothing?

(L)ack (O)f (V)isual (E)mpathy equates the meaning of L-O-V-E

(H)atred and (A)ttitude (T)ear us (E)ntirely

I’m going to be straight with you guys. This won’t be a blog post, this pretty much will be a rant about something that’s been keeping me hostage for some time. ThatDude’s gonna get sentimental for a minute. I’m gonna talk about relationships and breakups.

The Pre-Relationship

Let’s start off with the relationship, shall we. When a relationship is beginning to flower it truly is a great experience. Butterflies engulf your stomach at the mere thought of the significant other. You stare down your phone waiting for the anticipated response, and if a response takes some time, it’s the most agonizing moment of your life. I remember when I first told a girl, let’s call her Ariel, I liked her through text. I tossed my phone as soon as I hit sent, ran downstairs and played basketball until I was sure that a response must have arrived. In case you’re wondering how that played out for me, I got hit with “I like you as a friend” bullshit, but that didn’t hold ThatDude down. To him that was “alright, I see you, you just need some more time to marinate in my personality and smell the whiff of my charm.” Within a couple of months, I exchanged that friend card for an all-access exclusive boyfriend card but let’s not skip ahead. When you’re in the “flirting” process, you’re walking on eggshells. You need to play your cards right. You can afford the occasional screw-up, but if you gamble at the wrong time, you might as well fold your cards and find a new table. You can’t seem too eager, but you also can’t seem disinterested. When I was talking to the aforementioned girl above, when that phone vibrated with a text, my face lit up. I would yell “YEAHHHHHH” to the top of my lungs and then patiently sit for two minutes until I would respond. To be honest, I would have my responses done pretty quickly after the text, but my thumb was slow as hell to hit that send button. Texting, however, is only half of the equation. The other half is face to face interaction. Looking back, I was pretty damn awkward when first interacting with Ariel. To be fair, I had her ex breathing over my shoulder like a hound and trying to cause shit, but still, I could have been more suave. One instance makes me laugh to this day. She told me “I want a surprise hug one day.” In my head, I was thinking “what the hell is a surprise hug? This girl want me to hide inside a cake and pop out, I don’t know.” But ThatDude played it cool and told her that he has it covered. No problemo. And then walks away, back towards her, with his face looking like a puzzled Charlie Brown character. After hours of interpreting what that could mean, I went for it. I saw her talking to her group of friends, and I walked up behind her, doing all I could to not get her attention and when I finally did, wrapped my arms around her. Now everything I did was fine, it was smooth, calm, and cool. But boy that hug was awkward. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and close to her neck like I was about to take her down. I made a slight mistake, but it wasn’t bad enough to cause any real damage. It was like taking a math test and taking one route when you should have taken another, but still getting the right answer. The flirting stage is an awkward one, and you will look back on it as to “what was I thinking/doing”, but boy is it a fun stage as well.

The Relationship

Now let’s enter the actual relationship. I don’t know about you, but establishing the relationship “as a relationship” is weird. “Will you be my girl/boyfriend?” is about the weirdest question to ask. It doesn’t flow out of the tongue nicely, in addition to the fact that it isn’t exactly an easy question to ask. Fun fact, when I asked a girl to be my girlfriend (even typing that just felt wrong, can we think of a new way to go about this?) it was at her grandfather’s retirement home. Sexy, right? Going to have to copyright that scene before Nicholas Sparks gets a hold of it. To everyone out there, let this be a word of a warning: A SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS NOT CHEAP. Especially if you’re still in school, there are so many holidays that require a present, in addition to the random gifts that you give because you want to make them happy. And that’s just gifts, then you’ve got the dates. I was lucky. Ariel was not high maintenance. Denny’s and a movie that she seemed to always have a free ticket for were enough to satisfy. Hell, for our 2-year anniversary I took her out to a nice dinner at Taco Bell. They used the finest fake meat available in combination with perfectly stale tortillas, with tomatoes that contain enough GMO’s to last you a lasttime! (Long story, I had a big romantic dinner planned out, but as they say, shit happens). But even with that, she was perfectly happy. Other people aren’t as lucky. So word of warning, if you’re going to enter a relationship, you better be in the Steady Income Club. All relationships have a time period called the “honeymoon” phase. Basically, your world revolves around them (Fuck the sun, right?). They are the first thing you think of in the morning, the last thing you think of before you fall asleep, and everything you see reminds you of them. “Omg, a shoe, *insert name of significant other* also wears shoes*. To people around you, this is annoying. To people who had just broken up, they want to tear you to pieces. But to those in the phase, it is one of the better moments of life and something everyone should experience. I would think about Ariel every living second during this stage. There was one day where we talked on the phone with each other for 8 hours. Just thinking about that makes my mouth dry and begging for a glass of water. Enjoy this moment, it lasts different lengths of time for different relationships, but it will not last. After this stage, and if the relationship is still going strong, you still care deeply about the person and you spend most of your day thinking about them, but fights begin to happen. This is something I really want to talk about: meeting the parents. That is one of the more stressful environments that you can be placed into, especially a boyfriend meeting the girlfriend’s dad. They know how most young boys are. Doesn’t even matter if you have the purest intentions, to them, you are a person putting your dirty fingerprints all over their prized possession. Despite this, you need to put on an impressive display for the in-laws, and keep that display going for the length of the relationship. If they don’t like you, they can make your relationship a living hell. If they like you, you’ve got some elbow space, but you still, and will always be walking on eggshells. I had an interesting relationship with my in-laws. It started off well, remained pretty good for most of the relationship, and plummeted fast within the dying months. I always had a tough time getting along with the dad. He was a very strict fellow, and that was cute when were still fairly young, but as we got older, I felt like he wouldn’t give any more freedom. Ariel was extremely into Disney and I know Disney has a thing with girls being locked in towers, but damn, that’s fantasy. I honestly felt like I was slaying a dragon and climbing a 200ft tall building just to get to her. When we first started dating, There was one time where her father was purchasing some chairs on Craigslist and he needed to go meet with the person selling. At the time, I was over their house and it was just me, Ariel and her father. So that we wouldn’t be alone in the house together while he retrieved the chairs, he took me along . . . just me and him . . . on an awkward 20 minute drive with sad attempts from both parties to make small talk. “So… you see the game last night?” I get it, you don’t want us to be alone in the house, that’s obvious and a given, but could your daughter at least have come. I would have also GLADLY stayed outside in the house while you and Ariel went. It was just an awkward experience. I also remember another time where we kissed and he happened to see and I hear the agonizing groan of “OMG, Ariel!” come from her dad. I get it, she’s your daughter. I respect that, but give me some wiggle room, dammit! I dated Ariel for close to 3 years, the amount of times she went to my house I could count on two hands. In addition, many of those times that she did come over, I had to either pick her up and/or drop her off, while for me, I was on my own for 90% of the times. Her mother was a lot more liberal. She was fine with us kissing (she caught us making out more often than not and was pretty chill about it), and generally was pretty cool. On top of that, that woman could cook her ass off. Honestly, I was lucky with her mom because she made the in-law relationship a lot easier. Mrs. Ariel, if you’re reading this, I miss your queso dip. I just had one instance that irked me with her and goes back to the idea that a parent can make or break your relationship. After graduating high school, we went to different colleges 5 hours apart, so the long distance thing came about. We were having major problems and she wanted to end things. She sent a text to me basically saying that we’re done, but I was like “girl, it’s been more than 2 years, you’re not doing this through text.” So I traveled 5 hours just to get dumpedJ. Anyway, before I did, I sent a text to her mom saying I was coming down and hoping to surprise her daughter so we could talk (this was before she basically ended it through text). I did not get a reply until the day after we broke up. The text basically said sorry that her daughter and I broke up, wishes me success, but also wishes I did things differently. For example, the last text I sent her was rude, that I was demanding to see her daughter. I was at my bro’s house when she sent this and honestly I was livid. I looked back at that text and saw that I wrote “I am asking for your permission to see her, I don’t want to show up to your house unannounced” (Most likely not verbatim, but fairly close enough). So, to defend myself, I responded saying that I specifically remember asking her permission, but that I am sorry if I came off as rude, it wasn’t my intention, and that it was a misunderstanding. She responds with, and this is verbatim, “. . . let’s just call it a misunderstanding then.” IT FRAKING WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING, WHAT DO YOU MEAN “CALL?” It may be hard to see what’s wrong with what she said, but there was a tone in the text, especially if you knew the mother, you would understand. I’m not trying to say Ariel’s parents, or in-law parents are bad people and are just hell, they’re good people, but you aren’t always going to get along with them, but at the end of the day, they’ll always be with your significant other. You have to learn to live with them. I made plenty of mistakes on this part, but it happens. If you do the same, you learn from it for your next relationship. For the most part, asides from parents and the honeymoon phase, a relationship is two people who genuinely enjoy being with each other. Each other’s company is welcomed with open arms and looked forward to. When you’re alone, you crave to be with them. When you are trying something new, you want them to be part of the experience. When something exciting happens, they are the first you want to share the news with. There are times still where something exciting happens to me and I think “I really would like to tell Ariel about it” but can’t. That’s what a relationship is about. It’s about sharing new experiences. It’s the definition of “Oh, what a time to be alive.”

The Breakup

When you stop enjoying each other’s company, however, that’s when things begin to fail and the breakup is looming. A breakup is probably the toughest thing to go through. In “Heartless” by Kanye West, he says “you’re bringing out a side of me that I don’t know.” While going through my breakup, I would scream that line. I was doing shit I would never normally do, and look back today like “what was I thinking?” You say things you don’t mean, you do things irrationally, and you’re just generally petty as fuck. Chance’s verse in “Baby Blue” sums up the pettiness. “I hope you never get off Fridays, and work at a Friday’s that’s always busy on Fridays.” Emotion unchecked can become a dangerous thing. A breakup is like a snicker’s commercial. You’re not you when you’re going through a breakup, get a hobby. A breakup is simply a petty fuckfest (on both sides). I was petty. I burned one of the letters that I wrote to her but never got to give her. (Fun Fact: that letter ended up burning into the shape of a heart. I snapped a video of it to my 3 bros and they each responded “bro, that’s a heart. Lmao”) She did petty things. There’s a snapchat called “beautyandEddie.” Referring back to what I said about her being a Disney fanatic, she’s basically saying “I’m a beast.” It’s just part of the game. Pay no attention to it. She texted my bro once saying that he’s a great writer and that I’m “okay.” It hit a nerve and I let it get to me. I didn’t explicitly call her out, but on my IG bio I said “More than an okay writer.” Nothing too bad, didn’t mention anything that it was directly about her, but she saw it. After I cooled off, I deleted that from my bio, and hoped that she didn’t see it, but she did and I looked weak. Don’t let things get to you, shrug it off. Now at some point, one of the two will enter a new relationship before the other. To the person still single, this will sting. You will feel like a swarm of bees just enclosed your body and stung you at once. You are going to feel betrayed, and hurt. By the way you act, a person who didn’t know the situation would think the world was coming to a close. It will suck, and it will hurt for a long time. In my case, it’s been close to a year and I’m still hurting. Don’t confront them about it, it’ll only make things worse. I made that mistake. Ariel and I officially broke up on December 17^th, 2014. On March 17^th, 2015, I found out she was dating someone new. I was hurt. We were close to dating for 3 years and within 3 months you have someone new? That killed me. I called her. I wanted answers, I wanted closure. I asked her who he was and she told me that they’ve been talking recently and only gone out for one date. I got some answers, but obviously I was still unhappy. Let’s fast forward a month when I Facebook stalked the new kid. I’m not ashamed to say it, I did it, and if anyone says they haven’t done research on their ex’s new one is most likely lying. Turns out that they had been dating since Valentine’s Day. This leads to the conclusion that A) Ariel had lied to me, B) she moved on a lot sooner than I originally had thought and C) Either she started dating this kid pretty damn quickly after meeting him or they were talking while we were still technically a thing and having problems. Either way, because I confronted, I got more hurt than I needed to be. Let them be and leave it be. Which brings me to social media and break ups. UNFOLLOW, BLOCK, UNFRIEND, etc., do what you need to do. Following your ex on social media is asking for problems. Bite the bullet and do it, at least for the first couple of months until you’re a rational human being again. I blocked my ex. Not because I hate her, as she believes is the reason (or at least that’s what my homie says she thinks, which btw I don’t) but because of me. I couldn’t stand to see her pictures on my feed. Even when I unfollowed her, I would see when people liked her pictures and I would just find myself on her page again. Social media does nothing but make things more difficult. You may think you can handle it, but more often than not, you can’t. Do what needs to be done. There’s a lot more about breakups than what’s mentioned here. It’s an emotional period. And shit will go down that you wish hadn’t. But just get through it. Play some 808s and Heartbreak (which is hands down, without question the best breakup album of all time) and do you. We’ll talk more about this in the summer, hopefully. 

Dedication

This is dedicated to the aforementioned Ariel. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and happy belated (by more than 2 months) birthday. I hope you're doing well.

The Favorite Child: College Football's Infatuation with Alabama (and the SEC)

     Yesterday, the first College Football Playoffs rankings were released and as predicted, the rankings were unpredictable. Clemson took the top spot, dethroning favorite and defending champions Ohio State, who fell to #3. Undefeated Baylor and TCU continued to get spat at in the face by the playoff selection committee as they got placed #6 and #8 respectively. And as usual, the SEC got their nice love stroke as LSU deservingly got the #2 seed and Alabama roll their ancestor's legacy all the way to #4. Now I, and most of America has some major, beef jerky hard, beef with Alabama at #4, but before I let my fingers roll tide a path of destruction on the bull that is Alabama, let me dwell back into this Baylor and TCU debacle. 

     The main argument placing Baylor and TCU out of the top 4 is a lack of strength of schedule. Both Baylor and TCU's toughest opponent so far has been Texas Tech (5-4 record), who Baylor beat 63-35 and TCU survived with a 55-52 win. Now I understand that a team's opponents are a big factor in justifying JUST how good they are. If the Los Angeles Lakers went undefeated against a high school varsity team, my reaction would be "So?" (The way the Lakers are playing so far this season though, even a varsity team might beat them). But even so, it's still something to go undefeated, especially when you're playing amongst your peers. How often do we see a clearly more talented team lose to a school most of us probably had no idea existed. At least once a year this occurs. It's a shocker when a more talented team loses, but it isn't a shocker that it happened to at least one team at some point along the season. It takes an effort to take care of business week in and week out, especially in football with only 16 regular season games. One loss can be the difference between grinding it out on the biggest stage on the last day of football and sitting your ass at home, corners of your mouth orange from all those Cheetos scarfed down your mouth, as you look despairingly at the tv screen thinking "that could have been me." Reward the fact that they take care of business, instead of being "that team." Luckily for both Baylor and TCU, their upcoming schedule have them playing 3 currently ranked teams, including a battle between the two. This should help one of their causes to making the Top 4 playoff ranking.

     Now for the moment my fingers have been craving to relinquish upon the keyboard. . . Ala'freaking'Bama. They waltzed into the top 4 simply because they're Alabama. The name carries so much weight that the playoff committee would be committing a sin not to put them in, or so that's what it appears to be because THERE IS NO REASON WHY ALABAMA IS A TOP FOUR TEAM. Alabama's presence is simply based off their grand daddy's success. They are that spoiled, rich kid who gets life handed to them on a silver platter all because of "daddy's money." In other words, Alabama is Michael Jordan's son, Marcus Jordan. Buddy spent $50,000 in two days at a casino one time and we sure as hell know he didn't earn any of it. Alabama has a solid record at 7 and 1, I'll give them that. But that one loss, that ONE loss (which I mentioned before, one loss in football is huge) was against an Ole Miss team. An Ole Miss team that lost to a Florida Gators team ranked #25 at the moment (now ranked #10) and a Memphis team whom at the time was unranked (now currently ranked #13).  Memphis is undefeated and Florida is 7-1 with the one loss being by a touchdown at Death Valley with a QB who was forced into action after minimal playing time the 6 games prior. Now, I'm biased as hell given the fact that I go to UF, but it appears to me that many people believe Florida has a better resume than Alabama. They beat Ole Miss, who Alabama lost to. Alabama decimated Georgia, but then again, so did the Gators. Alabama scraped by against Tennesee, as did Florida. Alabama has in fact faced and beaten more ranked opponents than the Gators, but that one loss is more than just a blemish on their record. It's a huge zit on their nose as they get ready for senior prom pictures. I'm not saying the Gators deserve to be in the top 4, as of now, they don't. What I'm saying is that Alabama has not earned the right to be in such company and that the difference in ranking between the Gators and Alabama should not be as far as it is. 6 spots may not seem like much, but in college football, every position matters. #4 Alabama plays #2 LSU this week so this will be a big test in Alabama's resume and whether they're worthy or not. It's pizza day at the school cafeteria and there's only one left. The farther along you are in line, the more likely it is that you'll get that coveted pizza. The teams are hungry and it's feeding time.

    The rankings released were only the first one of many. It's practically guaranteed that these rankings will change and the final 4 will be COMPLETELY DIFFERENT (I'm looking at you, Alabama) than from what they are. For now, let's enjoy hopefully a great remainder of the college football season.

This is ThatDude coming at you. Now if you excuse me, I've gotta get myself checked out for hypertension after all this salt I had for Alabama and the playoff committee. Go Gators.

    

NBA 2015-2016 Season Preview w/ Deion A. Sainvil

Before we begin, Eddie and I would like to thank I *Heart* Celtics for giving us the inspiration to do this and for being the funniest sports blog out there, despite their hiatus and the fact that they’re Celtics fans. PLEASE come back, guys. Celtic Nation needs you.This past season like the ones before it has been one full with surprises, heartache, and excitement. My good buddy Deion from In The Mix and I were going to write a recap of the season, but that would be boring. So we decided in Beastie Boys, Golden Age style fashion, to make a re-rap of the season. See what we did there? Stay away from flammable objects when reading because these rhymes are fire (the actual rapping is questionable).

Curry and Draymond in the no flex zone

LeBron carrying a team to the finals on his own

Golden State won it with splashes from Curry

But they beat the Cavs without Love and Irving

Andrew Wiggins won Rookie of the Year

But his rival Jabari Parker had an ACL tear

Anthony Davis on the block, swatting like mosquito

Harden looking like black swan heading to the free throw

37 in a quarter, man Klay went off

And in Dallas Rondo told Carlisle to eff off

Miami missed the playoffs, man nothing was the same

Paul Pierce for the win cuz he called game

Clippers once again looking like a top contender

Then falling short, no-one surprise by those pretenders

The Thunder lost KD, oh boy they’re in trouble

But Westbrook messed around and got 11 triple-doubles

Damn, another NBA season has gone by

But we still have time to kick some rhymes

The Knicks still suck but that’s not news

And the Lakers can’t stand being bad, boo-hoo

Word.

Eastern Conference Standings

Cleveland Runs away with the East Again (Because the Bulls don't have what it takes)

     LeBron, Kyrie, Love, all healthy. What more needs to be said? The Cavs are easily gonna be #1. We have the Bulls at #2. We don’t like it, but it’s the best fit. The Eastern conference is weak and every spot but #1 is up for grabs. We want to respect the Bulls, but look at what they have done lately: they got startled by the Bucks; put up a cute, little fight against the Cavs; and fired Tom Thibodeau who's been their greatest coach since Phil. Hopefully, last season ends all the talk about the Bulls being title contenders with a healthy Derrick Rose. I don’t care how healthy or vintage he looks. If I was a Chicago fan, I’d switch my jersey number from #1 to #21. Jimmy Butler is the man now. Let's see if Rose and Fred Hoiberg are willing to accept this. 

Wizards Pull a Hoodini and Switch Spots with Toronto

      John Wall, the former #1 pick, finally showed D.C. his worth. If it wasn't for an unfortunate injury, the Wizards would have cake-walked past the Hawks and THEN get brutally destroyed by a freight train named LeBron. But now Wall is healthy; and Beal is only getting better. Wizards get the 3 seed. The Raptors haven't improved; so they get the 4th seed. They play isolation ball and live above the rim. Yeah, they signed DeMarre Carroll, but on the other hand...they signed DeMarre Carroll. An UNATHLETIC, slow Small Forward who won't thrive in iso-ball. Yeah, they also signed Anthony Bennet, but on the other hand...they signed Anthony Bennet. Basically, this generation's version of Kwame Brown. Bismack Biyombo might be a good pick up though. 

Young Bucks and a Sunny Season (Heat #5 Bucks #6)

      Miami had a disappointing season last year, but things are looking sunny in South Beach. Bosh is healthy and Whiteside has been working with Juwan Howard in the off-season. Gerald Green and Amar'e are nice pick-ups. Goran re-signed and they got Justise Winslow, who has yet to show us something, but is still a steal in the draft. And, most importantly, for the first time in four years, Wade had an extra two months to recover. Milwaukee may have managed to muscle past obscurity this season without their first rounder, Jabari Parker, but they will end the season in the same spot as last year. Even though Game 6 was a slaughter, they did give the Bulls a hard time in the playoffs. We're liking the direction the Bucks are going. They're a young team with lots of talent: Giannis, MCW, Jabari Parker, and Jerryd Bayless are X Factors. The Greg Monroe pick-up is also going to shake things up. We also like Jason Kidd as a coach. He has no expectations and nothing to lose. It’s gonna be fun seeing what he does for them in the next couple of years.

The Quick Rise and The Quick Fall
      There's no argument that the loss of El Trece last year was a big blow for the Pacers. A team that once gave the LeBron-Era Heat trouble, quickly dropped to not even making the playoffs. But now he's back and so are the Pacers in the playoff picture. The question that remains, however, is just how healthy is Paul George? Can he go back to his dominant self? The Pacers did make a nice acquisition of Monta Ellis, but in end, the Pacers success depends on PG. And I guess losing Roy Hibbert is somewhat of a loss since he was a part of their presence, but that's more of a footnote. While the Pacers are on their way up the Hawks will fall. And oh what a fall from grace it will be. The Hawks had the top three most hyped season behind the Cavs and the Warriors. Having four players win player of the month and Korver’s near 50-50-90 season was good fodder for the East, but proved to mean nothing in the playoffs as they had a scare against the Wall-less Wizards and the talent-less Nets. Losing DeMarre is a tough blow; and Jeff Teague, although we like the kid, is not going to be the answer the Hawks want him to be. So we can all stop blowing Budenholzer for blowing Popovich and adopting his coach and playing style because the Hawks proved that no and I mean NO style of play supersedes talent (ahem Knicks and Phil Jackson’s Triangle Offense.) 

Western Conference Standings

Rockets Clip Warriors for the #1 Spot

James Harden carried the Rockets throughout the season and they notched a #2 spot. Let us reiterate, Harden, with an unhealthy Dwight Howard, led the Rockets to being the second best team in the Western Conference. Losing Josh Smith won’t even hurt them much because Ty Lawson might be the Mr. Right that Houston needs. He’s an elite point guard who can score and dish the rock effectively and consistently. If he averaged nine assists with the Nuggets, he’ll have a blast with the Rockets. H-Town will once again be the dominant Texas team. The Clippers may be projected to be #2, but they have the best roster in franchise history. Meaning, if they don’t make it to the conference finals, they're a lost cause.With DeAndre back, Lance Stephenson, Paul Pierce, Josh Smith, and Austin Rivers occasionally balling out, Chris Paul and Doc Rivers have what it takes to make a championship team. Last season Blake Griffin missed 15 games and the Clips were four games shy of a 60 win season. The Rockets were also four games shy and Dwight missed half of the season. It’s safe to say that both teams will have remarkable seasons.

Warriors get Spurred and Drop to #4 Spot

Before we dive right into the Warriors and their fall, let’s talk about the Spurs. The moves they’ve made this off-season can’t be ignored. They’ve kept their already successful core alive with Duncan, Parker, Ginobili, and the rising star Kawhi, and added the proven all-star Lamarcus Aldridge. Duncan and Aldridge? Sounds like Robinson and Duncan 2.0. The David West addition also allows for a nice backup who brings a physical intensity to the game. Many people have the Spurs at the #1 seed, but with Pop’s history of resting starters frequently and the time it takes to get the team chemistry right, Spurs get the 3 seed. Yes, the Warriors are the defending champs, and yes, they kept basically their entire team intact...but that’s exactly the problem! It's difficult to be successful using the same thing twice. This isn’t cooking where if you stick to the same recipe, you’re in good shape, this is the NBA: Where Adaption Happens. It’s hard for us to imagine Curry matching or topping last season. It won’t be long before opponents realize how to contain him. The Warriors will still be a top contender for the belt, but they’ll have to do so at the 4 seed.

Thunder Storm the Grizzlies to Take the Fifth Seed

Even when not making the playoffs, the Thunder had one of the more exciting seasons, solely because of Russell Westbrook. Now the once title favorites have their once MVP Kevin Durant back from injury and a new coach to lead them. Billy Donovan, the former coach for the Florida Gators, will now take the reigns from Scott Brooks to hopefully lead the team to a championship. However, the Thunder’s success depends on the two-headed monster of Durant and Westbrook. The Thunder can only go as far they can take them and they can’t do it without each other. As soon as OKC plays like an actual team, they can be contenders once again.

The Grizzlies these past years have been a consistent middle-of-the-pack team in the West. They’ll continue that trend in the 2015-2016 season, just to a lighter extent. Randolph and Gasol are still leading the ‘Grind and Pound’ of the Grizzlies identity, but how far has that gotten them? A Western Conference Finals appearances where they ended up getting swept? The West keeps getting better and the Grizzlies keep doing what they always do–being good enough to make the playoffs, but never good enough to be taken as a serious threat.

Pelicans Fly Over Sacramento for the Seventh Spot

Anthony Davis is already being considered the third best player in the NBA and it’s justified. Since being drafted in 2012, all of his stats have improved. In two years he went from 13.5 ppg to 24.4. He would’ve been higher on the MVP ladder if his supporting cast wasn’t so unsupporting. The Pelicans will do better because Davis will be better. Until they get another all-star, they’ll go as far as he takes them, yet again. The Kings haven’t seen the postseason in 10 years. With a small market, they've struggled to attain the necessary talent to get them past the drought. They have the best center in the league in DeMarcus Cousins and he might be a loose cannon, but he puts up numbers. Even though they recently got Rajon Rondo, they already have a solid point guard in Darren Collison who averaged 16 ppg and 5 asts last season. Rondo and Cousins both have notorious attitudes, but they’re Kentucky boys, so they should get along well. Rudy Gay can give them 20 and 5 every night and Reggie Evans and Willie Cauley-Stein will provide a good post presence. We’re not saying the Kings will be a shoe-in for the 8th seed. We’re saying that next season they’ll be the team that will come out of the dogfight victorious and get swept in the first round.

2015-2016 NBA Wishlist w/ Deion A. Sainvil

1.        Wolves flirt with .500 - (Deion): I’ve been a fan of Wiggins since his high school Hoopmixtape. And I’ve always had a soft spot for Ricky Rubio. This year I’m going on a limb and adding the Wolves to my NBA League Pass order. I’m not expecting a Cinderella playoff run from the Wolves, but at the same time, I kinda don’t want to see my money go down the drain with another 16-66 season. All I’m asking for is at least 40 wins this season. It’s possible, with the new additions of Tyus Jones and Karl Anthony Towns, this team could work the kinks out. If not, we can attribute it to the fact that they’re inaccurately in the Western Conference (geographically speaking) and we should send a petition to the NBA to bring them to the East so they can see at least one playoff appearance within the next 10 years.   

     (ThatDude): It’s been a rough…well, decade for the Minnesota Timberwolves. Now they are finally starting to pull their scrawny arms out of the hole of disappointments and flex the new muscles they’ve been gaining. The Minnesota Timberwolves are stacked with young, athletic talent that can get any nonchalant NBA fan jumping out of their couch, calling their significant others asking “DID YOU SEE THAT?” when you know for damn sure that they didn’t. Zach Lavine put on one of the most impressive displays I’ve seen in a dunk contest last year and Andrew Wiggins in 1-season can already have a calendar of his posterizers. In addition, a healthy Rubio can have us all drop our jaws asking “HOW DID HE MAKE THAT PASS?” With the addition of Karl-Townes and Tyus Jones, all I can ask for is that the T-Wolves finally do some flexing and get a respectable (for them) 40 wins.

2.       LeBron wins DPOY (Defensive Player of the Year)- (Deion): I’m particularly biased with this one. LeBron is my favorite player and he should be yours too. He’s won almost every accolade in the league so far minus a slam dunk contest win which he will not participate in for whatever reason… Anyway, he really wants this award and, if not for this year, give him DPOY for all the years he’s humbled somebody with a chase-down block. Just please don’t let it be between Dwight, Kawhi and Draymond again. Give it to Anthony Davis, buddy deserves it. He got like four blocks a game last season.

   (ThatDude): LeBron is undoubtedly one of the best defenders the league has seen. He can guard you past the 3-point line if you’re a PG and he’ll outmuscle most bigs in the post. Dwight and Draymond aren’t capable of guarding a PG and Kawhi could guard a post player, but he’ll have a more difficult time than LeBron. However, with that said, LeBron shouldn’t be the Defensive POY. Chase-down blocks are fun, but they aren’t consistent. LeBron is a scorer for his team and as a result he’ll occasionally take a break on the defensive end. Defensive Player of the year should be Tony Allen because, let’s be honest, what else does the guy have?

3.       Warriors get put in their place - (ThatDude): First and foremost, let me congratulate the Golden State Warriors on winning the 2015 championship. With that being said, these Warriors need a reality check and need to be put back in their place, particularly Curry and “YeeeeeUp” Green. Curry throughout the finals was flexing like he was David beating Goliath. It’s true, LeBron is the Goliath of the league, but in no means necessary are the Cavs, especially an injured Cavs team, a Goliath. They simply won a 5 on 1 finals (LeBron vs Golden State Warriors), and barely at that as well. Curry and Mr. “Drunkly Call the Cavaliers Trash” Green need to realize quickly that they are no means an unstoppable team and that they are not as good as they think they are.

        (Deion): I’m not even going to congratulate the Warriors for defeating an injury ridden team that they should’ve swept. Stephen Curry has seen his last MVP and I’ve seen enough of Riley Curry to last me two lifetimes. Hit me up when she’s dating Derrick Rose’s kid. I can’t wait to see the Spurs rip them to shreds. LaMarcus Aldridge and David West are going to have their ways with the Mouse in the House that is Draymond Green. The Warriors will not win 60 games next season. They might not even make it to the Western Conference Finals. The Warriors are a great team, but they will never be a dynasty. They’re a mere footnote in NBA history. So if the media and the general public could ease up on the nut hugging, that’d be great. And off the record, Steve Kerr being hired was the best thing to happen to 2K, dude was a jerk as a commentator.

4.       The Resurrection of El Trece - (ThatDude): It wasn’t too long ago that I looked at my two friends in the eyes and said “Paul George is going to be better than Kevin Durant one day.” If it weren’t for the tragic injury he had with Team USA, I think he’d be pretty close to accomplishing that. But even with the injury, a part of me still believes this guy is going to be a top 5 player and maybe top 3. Albeit, I am more skeptical than I was in past years, he’s simply too special of a player not to. 2016 is the year of El Trece.

         (Deion): While I’m by no means a Pacer fan, I agreed with you when you said PG would one day surpass KD in talent. PG’s leg injury is a huge blow; but KD is also suffering setbacks with his foot, so we’re still not too far off with that prediction. The Pacers need PG more than ever now that Hibbert and West are gone so we’ll see if he steps up and puts his big boy pants on. Hopefully for Indy, Monta Ellis brings something to the table. One thing’s for sure, the Heat will have a winning record over them.

5.       Lakers stay at the kiddie table - (ThatDude): Last year the Lakers had their worst season in franchise history, and to be frank, I’m ready for another terrible season by the Lakers. I’m not saying for it to be as bad as it was last year, but…I’m hoping it’s just as bad. The Lakers (and their fans) are the most annoying franchise in professional sports. They always feel that they’re entitled, that everything should come easy to them and that they shouldn’t have to work hard. Last year the Lakers won a whopping 21 games, and this off-season them and their fans still felt that any player would be lucky to play alongside Kobe in their piss-colored uniforms with hints of pimp purple. I’m tired of this “…but we have 16 championships” bull-crap. IT’S ABOUT TIME THE LAKERS STRUGGLE AND HARVEST RATHER THAN GETTING THESE HOT AND READY ATHLETES THAT REQUIRE NO PATIENCE! Time to build your team, Lakers, and raise them. You’re not the desired girl that every guy wants to have around their arms anymore. You were that, but then you started going to Dunkin Donuts everyday, until you started weighing 400 pounds with no-one looking twice at you.

        (Deion): You hit the nail on the coffin with this one, Eddie. One thing I’d like to add is that D’Angelo Russell is not and will not be the savior of the Lakers. I’m sorry, but an unathletic guard who passes well? Sounds like a domestic Rubio with a jumpshot. Spare me the Jason Kidd and Magic Johnson comparisons; D’Angelo is “okay.” He’s definitely not the best player in the draft. We’ll see where he goes. Randle is done and so is Hibbert. We’re going to see another season of Kobe earning a crap ton of money to sit and shake his head at his team celebrating their 16th win. At least Iggy Azalea will be courtside. Have fun at the kiddie table, L.A. Shoutout to Brian Windhorst.


*For more fresh blog posts ranging over topics of pop culture follow Deion A. Sainvil's "In the Mix" at deisainvil.blogspot.com

Miami Marlins: Your -Insert Year Here- Champions

          Sometimes, being a Miami Marlins fan seems like a full-time job, that more often than not pays no reward. It's like I'm working for a struggling company who doesn't have the resources to pay me. So why stick with them? Why not bandwagon on teams with a history of winning like the New York Yankees or even the Boston Red Sox? Why not jump on the train of new young teams who are flourishing like the Kansas City Royals or the Baltimore Orioles? Well for one, because fans of teams with an established history of winning are the most condescending and annoying fans to represent a jersey. If I ever get in a sports debate and use the argument "look at how many rings we have" will be the day I disappoint all my future generations. There's no way I'm raising any Yankees/Lakers/Duke (etc.) children who live in the past glory even though they weren't in existence for the "Glory Days." I keep my loyalty to the Marlins because, despite years of losing, I know that the talent is there and "Next Year" is within arms reach. And once "Next Year" comes, it'll be even sweeter than any of the 27 championships that the Yankees have won.
          The talent is there ladies and gentleman. We have the superstars in Jose Fernandez and Giancarlo Stanton and we have the good role player in Adeiny Hechavarria, Dee Gordon, Christian Yelich, and Marcell Ozuna. I'll be the first to admit that there still are missing pieces, mainly in management (Jeffrey Loria, as an owner, would undoubtedly get the trash emoji 🚮 but that's a blog for another day), but the pieces for a great team surely are there. Let's bring it back to Jose Fernandez for another second. This guy, to say it straightly, is a winner. In 21 career starts at Marlins Park, he has 13 wins and 0 losses with an astounding ERA of about 2.somethingsomething. I'm not going to go into full detail about the ERA, the sole 2 to start should be enough to let you know that, as Ned Flanders from The Simpsons would say, is "mighty diddly good." After not pitching for 13 months, Fernandez on his first start didn't pitch phenomenally , but he pitched well. "Oh, but, Eddie, if he didn't pitch that great, how, is still a winner?" HOW IS HE STILL A WINNER?!! BECAUSE HE HIT A HOMERUN THAT GOT THE MARLINS OFFENSE GOING! Even when he isn't at his best, he has an impact on the game that helps his team win. Even if he isn't an active part of the current game, his mere presence and passion for the game is just that of a winner. I won't go into the same rant about Giancarlo Stanton but to keep it short and sweet, if Superman was a baseball player, it'll be in the form of Stanton. I'm sure if Stanton tried to lay down a bunt he'll simply fly out. Man is a beast.

         I had really high expectations for the Marlins this year (and surprisingly so did ESPN) and unfortunately they haven't lived up to the hype thus far, but I still believe 100% that the Marlins have a chance to still make a playoff run. And if the Marlins once again don't make the playoffs this year, then well...there's always next year.