Me, Myself and Why

          “Your twenties are your ‘selfish’ years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time and all the aspects of you. Tinker with stuff, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little and never touch the ground.”

          Recently, I was approached with this concept of your 20’s being your selfish year in a place that any WiseDude would find inspirational quotes…Instagram. This quote in particular, however, resonated with me. Are the 20’s really a time about selfishness? Is this the time, more than others, to put yourself first? Well, after a long hard thought process that included bubble baths with scented candles and deep thought sessions as I smoke a pipe and readjust my monocle, I’ve reached a verdict. Until my early 20’s are over, I will be ThatSelfishDude. It’s going to be me, myself and here’s why. Ha! Puns, I love them (and if you don’t, too bad, ThatDude likes them).

          Last December, YourDude turned 20. It was a great birthday, to be frank. Nothing special. I had some imported Italian red wine aged 200 years served to me in the Holy Grail. Later that day, I went to the Miami Heat game and sat next to my good friend DJ Khaled. Buddy kept Snapchatting about some key, though. I just wanted to watch the game. Simple birthday, pretty relaxed. The quote resonated with me for this reason, however. I had just turned 20. I’m not going to be in my 20s forever. Is this really the time for me to do all the stuff I ever wanted to? If I'm going to be 20, I need to do this right.

          Your 20s are sometimes called “prime time”. You’re way past the childhood stage of Aunt Jemima pinching your cheeks and saying “just how cute you are” and other family members asking gawking about “how much they’ve grown” since the weeks they’ve seen you. You’ve muscled your way through those terrible years they call “puberty” and “middle school.” I don’t remember much about my middle school years, but I once entered the deep depths of Facebook and found statuses from those years that make present day Dude ashamed. Here, *sighs* are some of them.

Yes, because the world wanted a summary of what you were doing.

*Deep sigh* I hate how "you are" hair feels? Come on, man. Get it together!!

Theres a 100% chance I didn't know what this quote was referring to.

          Just look at that status. It’s safe to say that at that point in time, I was not “ThatDude”.  I still had so many things to learn. On the bright side, I’ve been representing the Gator Nation for quite some time. Something that two of my friends at FSU (you know who you are) can say. Go Gators!

     
           I could roast PubescentDude for ages, don’t get me wrong, but let’s get back to the question at hand, shall we. Your 20s are the time for you, more than ever, to be you. You’ve payed your dues and learned your lessons to get to this point. You also either at, or approaching your peak physical prowess. Take full advantage, because your 20s is when you start chiseling out your identity.

As I stated, when you’re in your 20, you’re entering prime time. You’re reaching, or are at the peak of your physical prowess. You’re still stupid, but dammit, that stupidity leads to curiosity and that’s what makes these years great. On top of that, generally speaking, the only ones that you need to care for are yourselves. Little SaintDudeWest and NorthDudetteWest still haven’t entered the picture. Add in that dash of selfishness I’m about to speak of and you have the perfect recipe to learn yourself.

          Your 20’s should be your “selfish” years. This is the best time for you to focus on yourself and do things you’ve wanted to do. Forget calling it “prime time”, your 20’s are “Bucket List” time. You want to own a baby orangutan? Then dammit, you go out and own that baby orangutan! You want to sky dive? Go out there, spend the hundreds of dollars, cry because you checked your bank account right after, and enjoy the ride. Hey, nobody said being selfish is cheap, but boy will it be fun. Do things you thought you wouldn’t do in a million years. Explore different aspects of yourself. Currently, ThatDude is taking an acting class for non-majors. For those who don’t know me, I’m generally a shy guy. I don’t like putting myself out there and try to avoid being put on the spot. I needed to explore, however. I needed to try something new and discover the ThespianDude. Albeit, I’ve taken the class for less than 4 weeks, I’ve already gotten a lot more comfortable when it comes to public speaking. Give me 2 more weeks and you’ll be seeing me in the movies. Give me one more year and I’ll be accepting my Oscar as I look Leonardo DiCapio dead in the eye. When I tell people that I’m taking this class, as a dude on the pre-med track, they look at me questionably. Fortunately for me, I’m not doing this for them I’m doing this for me (and all my future patients who I’m going to dish out invitations for my community play to). Feel free to do these random activities. Some things you’ll enjoy that you thought you wouldn’t, other things you’ll straight up hate them and think “Brain, what are you doing?” But hey, even if you do hate them, you have a good story for your grandchildren to not listen to. The experiences you can gain by living an active 20s can be invaluable.
Travel to different places. Whether they be out of the country, within the country, or within the county, travel to new places. In the short time I have left at UF, I’ve made it a mission to explore the vast nature grounds surrounding the “city” (Is Gainesville really a city? It’s basically a college campus with some houses on the outside). The person who inspired this blog post spent her New Years in London and is going to Chicago soon (low-key shout-out to bring back a rock). Travelling garnishes new experiences. Your 20s are the perfect time for you to travel to new locations. Nobody has a dependency on you and you have a dependency on no one else. You have the freedom to go to these locations and choose how you wish to spend your time there. The schedule card is in your hands. Overall, I could go on forever in ways you can be “selfish” in your 20s, but the main idea is to do things for you. Don’t do things because you feel obligated to. Everything you do, do it with passion, with interest, with energy. Make your 20s memorable. Eventually, you aren’t going to be able to be selfish anymore. People will become dependent on you and you’ll have to take their best interest before yours. Discussing that will be a time for later, but for now, it’s all about “me, myself, and I.” and finding out who they are

          Before I let you go, I want to make it clear that there’s a difference with living your 20’s “selfishly” and just being a dick. Your 20’s isn’t going to be 100% free of dependency. People at all points in your life will depend on you eventually. Be there for them if they need it. I shouldn’t even have to be saying this but I don’t want angry emails saying “your entrancing writing and skills in persuasion have turned poor Henry into Kanye.”

Dedication

This blog post goes out to the inspiration behind this post and the person who brought the quote to my attention. She recently turned 20, so everyone wish this person a "Happy Birthday" and let her 20's be as "selfish" as they come. Happy Birthday, flower child.

My SweetHeart

Most people find their first love in their late teens to twenties. More even find it later on. Very few find their first love at such a young age. I was one of the few. I was a lucky one. This is the story of how a 10 year old boy fell in love.

It wasn’t supposed to go down the way it happened. My parents didn’t send me there with the idea I’ll find the one I want to spend my entire life with. But plans don’t always go the way they’re supposed to, do they?

The plan was for me to go north to visit my sister for a couple of days. She had just recently moved to a new place and was looking for some family to make the transition easier. I was ecstatic. Even though she was older than me by 8 years, I taught her everything she knows. I’d never forget the day she saw me take my first steps and thought “wow, you see, I’ve been walking wrong my whole life.” I was ready to see how my teachings translated away from home. So when I heard I was being summoned for duty, I packed up my gear and prepared for the rigorous venture that included a 5-hour bus ride filled with the sickly coughs and beady eyes. It was right when I got off the bus that I first saw her. The sun was beginning to fall as orange began to cover the last shades of blue. She was unlike anything I had seen before, completely breathtaking. I just knew I had to be with her. Maybe not now, but one day, I knew she had to be mine. She had an aura about her. Her aesthetic beauty stuck with me the whole time on the trip and for the years after that she would consume my brain. Everything about her said I’m a class act, but to say that she wasn’t sexy wouldn’t do her justice at all. She was the one. She’s was what people dream about, but I yet was not ready for her, for I was still a boy and she was a woman.

I had a duty tasked upon me, so sadly, I was not able to gawk at the beauty that was blessed on me, but I promised myself that I would see her again.

When I got back from my trip, I learned that this beautiful being that I had fallen in love with happened to be quite famous. Many people adored her…many people deplored her. The fact that anyone could see anything wrong was a shock to me, but I understood. It’s like that sometimes, life can be ridiculous. There was one woman who had it in for her. I believe she was of Seminole descent, somewhere along those lines. My girl could have revived John Lennon back from the dead and she would still have scoffed at her. My girl could do no right in her eyes. In her eyes, my girl was arrogant, pretentious, and inferior. The blood was and still is bad between these two. But, for as many people that disliked her, there were just as many that wanted her just like me. I knew if I was going to get her, I would have to work hard to become the man she was looking for. As a result, that’s exactly what I did. Every day was spent on making myself better, making myself more competitive so that in a couple years I could show up on her doorstep and say “this is me, either take it or leave it.” In high school, I went in every day to take care of business and get done what I needed to do. I wanted to learn as much as I could so I could be closer to getting her. She was the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing I thought of before I went to bed. In high school I knew that I would be with her for good soon. I didn’t know when, but in my junior year, I ran into her again and she still looked as stunning as the day I first met her. It was as if she hadn’t aged a bit. I introduced my friends to her, but they didn’t see what I could. They had different interests, but that didn’t affect me. I wanted her for me.

Come senior year, I knew I was ready. I put the work in that was necessary and became the man that you were looking for. All that was left was for you to take me in. I sent you a letter explain to you who I was and everything I had to offer. I told you “Hey, this is me, and I’m really interested in you. I want you, I guess what I want to know is if you want me too?” On Valentine’s Day in 2014, I got a response. I was accepted into the University of Florida.

In about a month it will be our 2-year anniversary and I cannot be happier. I knew when I first met her that she was perfect for me and I haven’t been disappointed in the least bit. That’s not to say that everything is perfect. Sometimes things get tough. She also places a great deal of stress on me. Sometimes I feel that she expects too much out of me and that I’ll just disappoint her. But I know what she’s doing. She’s challenging me to become even better than what I became to get to her. She knows that she sadly won’t be able to be a big part of my life forever. There will be one day that we will have to go our separate ways. What she wants, is for when that day arrives, for me to be ready. To be ready to take on what the world will throw on me. To take on any circumstance and obstacle that may come my path. Although our relationship may still be relatively short, I know what I already have learned more with her than I could with anyone else and I’m excited to see what else she has in store. But until that day comes in which you will throw me back into the world, I’m going to enjoy the time we do have. I thank you, my dear, beautiful University. Go Gators.